And The Journey Begins…

Why Society is Scary and We’re All Doomed

{ April 6, 2011 @ 10:16 pm } · { 5 Week Countdown to Summer (Apr-May) }
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Rest assure, this post isn’t as pessimistic and gloomy as the title is and I have not lost my sanity yet (although maybe soon). After, hm how many months have i stopped writing here, well I’ve been away for quite a while. I have encountered many events that triggered my thought processors to a whole new level. And what have I got to conclude from all that thinking and thinking and thinking. One half, I’m just utterly confused but the good news is, I should be happy that I’m confused, at least now I know that I’m suppose to be confused. I’m not making any sense, ain’t I? Good, so now we’re all confused.

This February I went to Trondheim to attend the International Student Festival there. There was a workshop for development and aid which I participated in. The discussions we’re pretty mind-blowing actually. There were people from Africa, South America, Canada, Asia, and Europe. Most were very intellectual and motivated people who are active in their community. As a group we had high idealism to figure out what is wrong with the development and aid system and how can we fix it. This discussion led to how bad governments are, especially international organizations that seems to be getting us no where. This discussion also led to how bad pretty much every system is and the crappy job professional people are doing. Also there’s a talk of human rights stuff and we should try to fix it.

Whats interesting is, how many times have these issues been discussed before and how many have just led to the same discussions. Are we actually going somewhere with all this complaining and complaining and complaining. And what is it to be gained by blaming the west for everything (yes we did that a lot too). During all of those fiery discussions, I notice some people who only listen and do not talk much. Not that they don’t have much to say, but they just enjoy listening to our conversations more. Guess what, the ones who we’re just listening turns out to be people who are actually make changes in the world. Head of their own NGO’s, have projects, serve the community. Instead of me and the others who we’re talking about finding a solution which of course we couldn’t find because all of us know that the problem is so much more complicated than it seems, there are students who are doing what they can. It made me so ashamed of myself. So I have to rethink everything through. Rethink goals, ideals, everything went in the wastebasket (well not everything). But the point is, I have lost most of the things that I probably thought of last year, and now I am in a space of confusion.
The idea of world peace, global health care, free water, they sound amazing. But honestly, I ask myself, what are these abstract ideas. When you say that you are going to help people in Africa, do you actually know the real conditions of “those” people who you want to help. I don’t even know who “those” people are. I remember asking my friend from Zambia and South Africa how they feel when people say “we will help the people of Africa”, it’s as if the people in Africa don’t have a mind of their own and can’t think for themselves. Some might argue with me about this point, but maybe it’s time to have some faith. My friend from Zambia and South Africa are amazingly intelligent people who knows their society and culture and they want to fix it. They are so much credible to fix their problems than I am who knows not much about the continent.

So this is the end of me trying to dabble in other people’s problems. Including in my own country. I will help, I will do something if there is really a want from it from the society. If not, I don’t know what people really need or want. Until I figure that out, I am not going to make any idealistic projects that will backfire in the end. I prefer having a clear head and relaxing for a while.

Studying history in college gave me a similar lesson. Western civilization is filled with brutal revolutions, ideological changes, nationalism gone wrong. And I realized we never really do learn from history. My friend said that every mistake in the world has already been made in history. She was right, as a society, we never really learn our lesson.

So what to do?

Well you could again discuss and discuss and discuss of solutions to abstract problems like world hunger, corruption, and poverty, or you can actually try to do something. But doing something isn’t a must. The only thing that you know best is yourself. So I’m wondering if I just start by helping myself out, maybe, just maybe, I can actually contribute something. Honestly, I barely ever take care of myself. And for now that’s all I want to do.

The world will continue its madness, but truth is, we’re all still living so can’t we enjoy the small sweet pleasure life can offer. I need to take more care of my friends and myself. Cause with them, with all the scary madness and everything, life doesn’t seem to suck that bad.

From The Couch

{ January 19, 2011 @ 5:11 am } · { Jan 2011 Lets Study and Dance }
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Writing like this is uncomfortable, but I’m too lazy to move. This is the second day I’m sleeping on the coach. It’s not sad whatsoever, it’s actually super comfy. Maybe now days people are making better sofas and worse beds. In one of the buildings on campus, a lot of students take afternoon naps there because the sofas are soooo soft! It’s really common to sleep there or take a nap. Student life, we all need a break…

Unfortunately, the break is almost over. For me, since I am taking winter session, my break ended 3 weeks ago. Winter classes ends on Friday, then there’s the weekends, then Monday school starts again. Horray… I’m so not looking forward to it. But I am looking forward to getting be to my own room again.

Three more days of dance! After 2 and a half weeks, have I managed to become a dancer? Nope, don’t think so. I joined the dance class because I always like seeing people enjoy themselves dancing. As if the dance is the secret to their soul and they can just break free. I want to know what’s their secret (and I need exercise since I’ve been too lazy to go to the gym lol). Did I find the secret? Not exactly….

I met a girl who is a dancer (well most of them in the class are, I’m the only economics major which makes me wonder how on earth do I fit in this class). She told me that she believed dancing was a gift from God and because of it she just feels it and enjoy it. She thinks it’s not for everyone and people can’t force themselves to feel the dance. So in conclusion, I shouldn’t have to force myself if I don’t have the ‘gift’. My teacher things differently. She says everyone can dance. Me, I can dance. If it’s just following footsteps and movements, I can do that. But to ‘feel’ the dance? I’m still lost on that part. I can’t feel anything….

I wonder if it’s because I just think too much while dancing (can’t believe my brain still works while dancing, see how weird I am, all that tutoring math has made my brain unsleepable- i know it’s not a word….). After the dancer girl told me about the ‘gift’ thing, it kind of broke my spirit a bit. I know she means well and she wasn’t being mean or anything. I tried to just accept the fact that I will never enjoy dance as much as those dancers. But then I thought…. Screw it, so I’m not a dancer doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy dancing. Thinking about it again (see my brain keeps thinking, aghhh), I approach this in the wrong way. I tried to dance perfectly like them and move like them. I thought that way I can then enjoy dance just like the dancers. But isn’t dancing a form of art? So there isn’t really a concrete definition on how should you dance or enjoy dance. What makes someone an artist, what makes something art? It’s up to me. I can dance and interpret it anyway I want. Just like in writing, you don’t have to write like a famous author or something. Everyone has his/her own style of writing. When I make the writing or art form personal and mine, that’s when I get the ‘feel’ for it and enjoy it.

After reaching that conclusion, guess what, I can feel it. I can dance! I don’t mind that I’m not ‘gifted’ in dancing, doesn’t matter one bit.

Ok, ending it here. My back starting to hurt, need sleep. Too much dancing today….

When do you give up on life’s tricks and turns?

{ January 6, 2011 @ 7:13 pm } · { Jan 2011 Lets Study and Dance }
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There are many times when life doesn’t seem to unfold the way you want it to. All the events seem to be working against you and you feel just weak and can’t control anything. Well, that’s how it feels right now. But instead of crying over it and panicking which would just waste my time, I’m just sitting here, eating my home-made cook fried rice that taste kind of weird.

I’ve been thinking about it. I usually try to find a plan B, or C, or D, until Z and not give up yet. But when is it time to give up? When do you let life just flow or do you still try to take that risk?

Once I had a conversation with my host dad, I have a problem in making small decision. I’m neutral towards most things and sometimes that frustrates him. For example he asks how do I want my eggs done, or which cheese do I prefer, (maybe food is a bad example). But the point is, when it comes to simple things, I don’t really have much preference. At first this made me think, “shoot! I can’t make decisions on my own!” Of course this is not the case. Because I do make decisions. But instead of making small decisions which I seem to not be capable of, I’m doing just fine in making major decisions. And now, I decided to just give up for a while and let life just flow….

I’ve been putting so much effort to attend the International Student Festival in Trondheim this February. The process is getting me insane. Mostly failed attempts at applications for grants and scholarships to get me there. And also a failed attempt at getting a visa, but I’m getting one by next week, hopefully. Now I might not be able to get a ticket. So… I really don’t know. These are all just out of my control. I can’t tell the visa people to hurry up. Can’t tell people to stop buying airplane tickets to Norway so there would be a seat for me. Can’t control the rise of ticket price. So…. I guess it is just time to give up and just let things happen.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, no reason. I just write things down cause it calms me down and gives me an area to think. I’m not having good stuff to write about currently. My brain is on overload or mostly just blank. Book is coming out soon, Norway is coming also, need to study for intense psychology course, India application deadline in 2 days and I can’t seem to contact my advisor. But despite all that, life is good.

Dance the Yankadi and Study Psychology

{ January 4, 2011 @ 6:10 pm } · { Jan 2011 Lets Study and Dance }
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My sleeping schedule just switched. I slept at 9 o’clock last night instead of 1 o’clock in the morning like every other nights. Moving to my friend’s place and classes made me weary. 3 hours of Psychology was boring. I know it should have been interesting but at times I almost feel asleep. The teacher is nice but she’s wont give a copy of her power points so we have to write down all of those information. I don’t have the textbook and not planning to spend 100 bucks on a used book since I’m saving for Norway. What a mean teacher. She talks and talks and talks and I’m dying to sleep but can’t because I need to write her notes.

I’m using a left-handed notebook. Why? It’s the cheapest and cutest thing I can find in the bookstore lol. If you flip the pages on my notebook next page is written upside down, and it keeps on going. Why did I take notes like that? Either I was bored, or who knows. Lately I’ve been doing stuff just for no reason.

Dance yesterday was thrilling! We dance the Yankadi. Can not give much info about the yankadi except that it is a dance under the moon light and a dance of seduction. The girls dance with scarves and the men dance on a line opposite to the girls. We have only 3 guys in our class so not gender balanced but it’s still quite fun. The teacher hired someone to play instruments while we dance. The music made it lively. I just found out that there is such thing as a “thumb piano”. And now I really want one! Well, more info on dances later since I do have to write a paper on the dances on Friday. After dance class most of the girls are sweaty and have red tired faces, except me. I probably am doing the moves wrong lol….

Currently, I am in the library with a Psychology book next to my computer. It’s a textbook that I’m allowed to borrow from the library for two hours. I have one hour and 45 minutes left. Have I read anything? Nope. Just the first two paragraphs and got distracted by the computer in front of me. I know I should read the book since I already have a text coming up tomorrow. But I’m not up to studying right now. There has to be an easier way to study. Sounds unlike me, who usually tries really hard, now I’m just like blah… I did homework in the morning to, that never ever happened before. I can never function in the morning.

Hm… what should I do? Study, finish my internship application (there’s an awesome internship to India!), get lunch…. Sounds like a plan…

Homelessness Will Start Tomorrow

{ January 3, 2011 @ 2:38 am } · { Jan 2011 Lets Study and Dance }
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This will hopefully be my last time moving around from house to house during break. Tomorrow I will be leaving my host family’s house and will live with my friend. Her apartment is closer to campus so it would be more convenient since I’m taking winter classes. However, there’s a rule at the university apartments. They can not have guest for more than 3 days. So how am I going to stay there for three weeks? Well, most of the time they don’t check. But also, I’m not going to stay there 3 days straight. After 3 days I can move to another friends place. After that I can then come back. Seems troublesome but that’s what happens if you are homeless….

My friend lives with two other apartment-mates, and maybe the other two will think of me of an intruder. Or maybe not? It’ll be interesting to see how life will be, moving about. I have a small suitcase and a backpack I borrowed from my roommate so if I do move around, it’s actually easy. I just need to take my suitcase. After two weeks here in my host families house, I realize I brought too much clothes. Oh well…

Another part about being homeless is food. I haven’t bought food and my class finishes at 6 o’clock. So what’s the plan? Well, I guess I can get some food before my class start. Call another friend who lives in the dorm and ask if I can store food until I finish my classes at 6. If not I can always starve…..

Homelessness is a new thing. At least I do have options on where to stay and sleep. Now it all depends on how I choose to survive the next 3 weeks. Will I be doomed or will I be dead?

Writing Down Stupid Thoughts

{ January 1, 2011 @ 5:59 pm } · { Jan 2011 Lets Study and Dance }
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New years 2011! What does it mean? It means its time for me to clean up my computer. Arranging folders making “My Document” a nice neat place. My computer is like a workplace, I need to clean it up to make myself comfortable working with it. Now there are only 12 folders in ‘my documents’ and it’s just much nicer to search around.

I’m trying to do something that I’ve never tried before. Writing down my thoughts when I am starting to write an application or a paper. Usually last year what I would do is just stare at the computer for hours an hours, staring at a blank word document before writing something. Seems like my head is processing a lot while I stare at the computer. Today I actually used my Microsoft Office OneNote program. It’s like a notebook but a digital one and it’s just very handy. I can create a page and make a sub page. So now, instead of staring at the computer, I writing everything that’s going on in my head down on my computer. I feel that my efforts were productive enough, rather than staring a blank screen. And ideas flow better for some reason. I can highlight things that I need to remember or look over notes and judge then again.

Anyways, this is a very stupid post with no point whatsoever. If my way works doesn’t mean it will work for everyone else. But I guess it can be an options. There are a lot of options when it comes to writing. My professor once told me that some writers can’t write unless they are wearing a special hat or using a special pen. A girl in my writing class always switch her outfit style every class which was very entertaining to watch. I used to stare at a blank screen. That was better than a few year ago when before I write I had to play Minesweeper for an hour before I write. (I’m really good at it now, the game). I guess writers are weird people. Or maybe its just me and a few others?

Changing topic, Happy New Years! (See told you this is an awful post that keeps switching subjects, my rant and babbling, I must be pretty bored at the moment…). Monday I have to start my winter session class. I will take Development psychology and African Dance! I promised myself to relax and try new things, well there you go, African Dance. I’m gonna make a total fool of myself since I can’t dance. And I have no idea what exactly is African Dances. The ones around the fire in the forest just like in movies? Who knows. We’ll see. Welcome to the month of working hard (i have a couple of applications need to be done and also writing a short story), studying, and dancing!

Conclusion of The Year: I’m a Crazy Perfectionist Who Doesn’t Have a Life

{ December 30, 2010 @ 2:58 am } · { Just Before The New Years (Dec) }
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Reflecting on some events this year….

1. Fall semester I took 21 credits because I want to challenge myself, I guess, and people think I’m crazy. It was not that bad if only I hadn’t also have to work 12 hours a week. I had to make sure I had good grades and do a good job at work. Then, add to that volunteer tutoring at a high school. Plus trying to write grant and scholarship applications (which all failed but it was worth a try I guess). So guess how was my college life? Almost none…. Well I do have those movie nights and hang out with friends. Only once went to a rave at a club. Didn’t go to a single football game (but in this weather, I was too lazy to go anyway). I hang out with friends a lot during the weekends. But everyday it was constant on the go, need to finish something. I am never ever ever doing this much stuff again. My friends already think I’m crazy and now I do believe that I am.

2. Adding up to the super busy, I have got a new collections of nightmares. One I probably shared in a previous post. Nightmares are crazy. Four times in a week, is crazy. But they did wake me up though when I need to be waken up and do some homework. I have experience in my dreams: ghost, zombies, giant crocodiles, serial killers, more ghosts, etc. Weird thing is, I haven’t watched a horror movie ever since the nightmares started. My friend said I’m too tired. And I was crazy tired this semester. Aghhh I lost my motivations to watch horror movies now since my dreams have terrified me enough. Hope my horror movies fast will end soon. Don’t want it to be permanent till next year.

3. One thing that I’m not proud of during my tutor job is how I act sometimes when I’m really really tired. My first semester working as a tutor, I didn’t understand why some tutors seems harsh and just act unfriendly. This semester, I have experienced it myself. Yes I can still go to work when I’m tired but I wont be able to do a great job. There are days where I am tired and sometimes it get frustrating when the students doesn’t get it. Especially on exam week. Well it was my fault but also this one kids fault. Some students, sometimes all they do is complain and complain and complain. I wanted to strangle someone! (jk don’t worry, will never to that). Tutors have their limits too you know. We have exams and homework and school to, so it’s not only the students who have a hard time. My biggest ever patience is with this one kid who a. complains always, b. doesn’t listen and always jumps to conclusions c. he breath smells like smoke (I’m dying from tutoring cause I’m a second-hand smoker lol), and d. he always wants me to help him and just solve the problem for him without him doing any work. I wanted to smack myself in the head when he comes to tutoring. One day he came with a practice exam and we went through it. It was a long day. The next day, he came back with the same practice exam and all the knowledge I taught him yesterday, he didn’t remember a single thing. Either he really doesn’t get it or he didn’t listen at all yesterday. It was horrible! Being a mad tutor isn’t something I’m proud about but I guess I can learn from this experience. I will try not to be as tired next semester so at least when a super difficult student comes I will have the patience and energy to handle them. Huh….tutoring made my brain into mush and apparently now I need a therapist (jk).

4. My grades just came out and I know that I should be proud. But for some, that A- from physics keeps bugging me. It’s an A- which I should be proud, especially since I didn’t study well for the final (which is my fault). A- is not different from an A. And I actually got a great GPA despite taking 21 credits and working. So why do I feel kind of bugged by this A-. I’ll tell you why. I just realized that I have turned into a perfectionist. Noooo….I’ve actually become someone who I actually hate. This entire Fall semester was pretty planned out, as if I can’t afford to make a mistake (though I do anyway). Everything was planned pretty neatly. I did turn out to be a crazy workaholic studyholic perfectionist. Damn…. So job for next year, make a mistake! I don’t wanna be a perfectionist, I hate perfectionist and will not stand seeing myself becoming one. Will be so excited to fail more and more next year wooohooo! (If you think I have lost my mind, no worries, I’m pretty sure it’s still there, somewhere…)

5. I have been very good in keeping contact with my friends in Indo this year. Problem is, I feel like sometimes I don’t have time to spend with my friends here in the US. I actually have awesome friends who care about me but I don’t feel as close as them as my Indonesian friends. Who’s fault is that? Totally mine. We can become close if only I take the time to hang out with them more. And that is exactly what I am planning to do. Spend more time and getting to know my awesome American friends. And while at it, I should search for a love life too since I don’t have one at all. Zero. Wow, I really need a life don’t I?

Well then, next year is about interacting with people, enjoying life, living life, making mistakes, being less crazy, and trying to stabilize my mind again. Sounds fun!!!

“Almost” New Year Revelations

{ December 29, 2010 @ 1:35 am } · { Just Before The New Years (Dec) }
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My computer is fixed! Bizarrely, on its own. I wonder if the fact that I installed a Linux with it made Windows XP works better. But who cares, as long as it works. Now I just have to clean up the viruses that still sleeps inside this computer. I was surprised when my Windows actually booted and scanned and cleaned itself. After it finished it said,

Your computer just recovered from a serious error. (And ask if I want to send a report to Microsoft.)

I’m actually impressed that it noticed that it was a “serious” error.

Anyways, I’ve been sneezing a lot lately. I wonder if I finally got allergic to cats since I’ve been sleeping with one the past week. It’s a super cute one though! And her fur is so soft. Hope I don’t get allergies.

Anyways, again, need to stop blabbering very unimportant stuff. I have decided that I am not going to stress out about money anymore. At least that is one thing this end of the year has taught me. This semester I have killing myself with jobs, school, and plans searching for scholarships and other jobs. I manage to save quite a bit, not a lot but enough. I decided to pay for my trip to Norway this February to attend an International Student Festival in Trondheim. But if I do that I don’t think I can go home. I don’t want my parents to pay for the ticket. Then I said, which is more important?

High school I gained a lot of debating experience which helped a lot for my future and stuff. But because of that I have no high school life whatsoever. I rarely hang out with friends and just gone all the time. Though I don’t miss skipping class lol.

I think that now I’m almost deciding the same thing. I could not go home next year and just find experiences here and save money for my future and education. However, at this point I’m not that concern about education, future, grown up stuff which I’ve been burdened with ever since I left high school. If I go home and spend time with family and friends, the money I spend for the ticket will be worth while. I need to have a life too.

My host mom told me about her dad that died with a bunch of money that he saved during his lifetime. Sure, he had tons of money, but the guy didn’t go anywhere or experience anything. His time was up. So my host mom didn’t want to make the same mistake his father made. She lives her life and spend for herself and others. And she’s happy.

My father says that money is just a temporary thing so it’s better to use it while you have the choice. I’m not talking about spending it at the mall on a shopping spree. But spending it on things that will be great for you and other people. Like my parents spend money for my education (money which they borrowed actually lol and I have to payback one day).

I decided to take that trip to Norway and go home as well. I can still make more money. I still have two jobs and by the middle of next semester I will move to an apartment which will save me lots of money rather than staying in the dorms. I might even have better luck getting scholarship. Who knows, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

The Spread of Evil and Kindness

{ December 27, 2010 @ 11:50 pm } · { Just Before The New Years (Dec) }
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This semester I have experience a bizarre collection of nightmares. I can get 4 nightmares in a week. I think, subconsciously, the nightmares are ways for me to wake up. Since I’m not capable to wake up unless 15 minutes before my 8 o’clock class lol. With the nightmares I can wake up an hour before class and actually do some studying and homework. Well, all of that actually has nothing to do with what I want to write about. Although, one of my nightmares might be a good introduction to the topic. I had one dream where I was sent to the principle’s office with a girl because we were late, it was only 10 minutes late i think. How can this be a nightmare? Just keep reading…

Being late isn’t that big of a deal and of course I stood up for myself. Why should I get into so much trouble over something stupid like this. The other girl though, she stood there and took what the principle said. The principle was so annoying. He labelled us as troublemakers and just bad teenagers. The stuff he said was hurtful and wouldn’t be right to say to any child or teenager. Finally we left the principle office. Well, more precisely, we sneaked out the office. A guy who in the dream was my friend helped me out. And that guy was actually super cute and nice though have no idea who it is! Anyways, the bad part is to come. Me and the guy was walking down the hallway while the girl walk slowly behind us. We didn’t notice that she stopped near the staircase. When we looked back, she jumped off the staircase! It was graphic! I don’t know why my dream was so clear, I must have a very disturb mind….aghh…

Then I started to have flashbacks about the girl. She was quite and a troublemaker. And from the way she listen to the principle, it seems like she believed that she was just a mess and a burden to society. All the mean thing that people say about her and stuff. It was awful. So she decided to take her own life. It was really bad and I never thought of comforting her or anything, I never really notice.

Me and the guy manage to get her to a hospital. We left, don’t know why (guess we were terrible friends). Then the dream just focuses on her. She was alive. And I think she was in a ward with other troubled teenagers. They were teasing her and they were fighting about something. Her hands were tied on her bedpost. She finally broke loose from her bed and suddenly started to kill and torture people who were once mean to her. IT was horrible! One of the most horrible dream I ever had. And I think she was after me too since I kept her alive when all she wanted was to die. I woke up after two killings.

No idea how I can get a horrible dream like that. I haven’t been watching scary psychopath movies or anything since my computer is broken anyway. But the dream made me think about how evil can spread and how society can create evil.

It use to frustrate me how anger isn’t something that can go away easily. For example the case of Israel and Palestine. For how long have they been fighting over land? Who knows. But all that anger wont go away any time soon. The children, living in a place like that will soon know the anger and keep it. All that will be passed on again and again and again. So in the end how can this stop?

I never had an answer for that but I did realize one thing, evil can spread really fast. But so does kindness. People just notice it less. It was a relieving discovery for me to know that good in humans are spreading as well. Maybe one day both will overlap, the good and evil, and maybe some day the world would be a better place. (Such an idealistic dream…)

My father told me that he first met the face of kindness when he was in high school. In high school, he already studied away from home. He had a father figure who let him stay at his place and always is there for him when he needs him. That person treated my father liked family and never expected anything in return. My father learned from this guy about being kind and helping others. Its a wonderful feeling. I never understand why my father always wanted to help people, even those he didn’t know that well. Its a good deed, I know, just weird cause aren’t we humans quite egotistic and usually do something to benefit ourselves too?

My father always taught me to ask for help from the family and not burden anyone else, which I did. I rarely ask that much help now in college, which actually I should cause I’m killing myself here with all the burden that I’m taking. Funny thing is, I never ask for help or and kindness, but for some reason, kindness always found me. My dad was helped by a host dad and had a second family. He then acted as host dad and gave help to those who need them. When his daughter went abroad to America (me), helped came to me too. I have an amazing host family who let me stay with them and I sometimes feel useless cause I can’t do anything for them. It just felt wonderful. My other host mom, (I have two host fam), took me shopping the other day to get me a coat. I don’t really like it when people buy me stuff, another trait my father taught me. But she did, bout me two actually. She thought the coat I have was not warm enough. There was no point of refusing, so I let her and she told me something which struck me. “This is just a repay forward,” she said.

When she was a kid she lived with 5 sibling and they didn’t have much money. One of her friend’s mother bought her almost all of her clothes. It was such a nice gesture. And the mother said this is a repay forward. She wants her to one day to do the same thing for someone else. And she did, for me. That time I realize, this is how kindness spread and it feels wonderful!

I like the idea of repay forward. I hope I can remember that and do the same for someone in the future. I guess human kind still have a lot of good in them. Isn’t that a wonderful thought?

Computer Mayhem

{ December 23, 2010 @ 5:02 pm } · { Just Before The New Years (Dec) }
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This year, I have had 3 major computer problems and lots of minor virus problems. I have already restored my netbook to factory setting twice. Its an Acer Aspire One Netbook, a really cheap one which I got from Walmart. I got it the first week I came to the US. I thought, I don’t need a really good laptop yet. I will get one for myself once I feet ready. For a beginning writer, any computer is good enough. Plus I think I was too broke to buy a really good netbook. So this netbook which I am typing on right now has been with me for one and a half-year. Not that old.

Acer support tech is kind of funny (and sort of annoying). I think at the time I got a virus. The university antivirus isn’t really that good yet we re force to use it if we wanna connect to he University internet connection. A really bad virus did manage to get to my computer. I cleaned it out after two days browsing the web searching for ways to make it work. You practically can find anything on the web. I had a fake antivirus malware which keep popping out and it was super annoying. But now I know how to get rid of those. Although the first time I tried, I did get rid of it but also manage to damage a part of my system as well. I called Acer support tech and because I have a netbook, I can’t reinstall the programs from the CD. The tech support told me that he can tell me a way to install it myself but I would have to pay to get that information. That was ridiculous. I went to my University Tech Support and they told me what to do. Free and easy.

Acer netbooks can be restore to factory setting by pressing Alt F10 after pressing the power button. And this has saved me twice. Unfortunately now, that button doesn’t work anymore and my computer simply wont boot. Safe mode doesn’t work either.

The reason why I can type right now is because I’m using Ubuntu, Linux as the operational system and I can use it by just plugging a flash drive set up with the program. Now it’s just the case of backing up files. Which turns out is a lot of work. Or is it because this netbook is super slow when I’m just trying out Ubuntu. I haven’t made any permanent changes yet. And kind of reluctant to do so. Probably need to get another USB with more space.

Despite that, computers, I am so not gonna stress out about it anymore. They kind of suck when something bad happens, but I guess we all just have to deal with it. Who ever is making these viruses, no idea what their intentions are, but they are making so many people annoyed. I will not let them get that pleasure.

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